Cartoon coutesy of Brian Duffy© Des Moines Register
Ragbrai v.s. Tour Comparison
|
Tour |
Ragbrai™ |
Advantage |
|
Focus on individual ability, team tactics, climbing ability |
Focus on dining and beverage refreshment |
RAGBRAI™ |
|
Scenery includes medieval French castles, chateaus, topless beaches |
Scenery including occasional covered bridges, hog farms, water towers, and cornfields |
TdF |
|
Cobblestone Streets |
Fresh Asphalt, courtesy Iowa Dept of Transportation |
Ragbrai™ |
|
Road art encouraging teams and individual riders |
Team Road Kill |
TdF |
|
Murderous mountain stages, time trials, 200km days |
Heat, headwinds, & Iowa humidity |
Tie |
|
Domestiques willing to sacrifice bike parts, wheels etc. to ensure victory for team leader |
Teammates willing to give you a beer |
RAGBRAI™ |
|
Unpasteurized cheese, baguettes, pate' de fois gras |
Pork tenderloins, Iowa sweet corn and churchlady pie… |
RAGBRAI™ |
|
Teams sponsored by major corporations |
Teams transported in converted schoolbusses |
TdF |
|
Riders select different bikes, tires, wheels, helmets for different stages |
Riders select draft beer, keg beer, canned beer, bottled beer, regular vs. "lite" beer in different brands and sizes in different beer gardens |
RAGBRAI™ |
|
OLNTV, On-course motorcycle and helicopter cameras filming every second |
Des Moines Register coverage, Greenwood & Duffy cartoons |
Tie…. |
|
Winner of selected stages get time bonuses (seconds) |
First riders in get to spend more time in beer gardens (seconds, thirds…) |
RAGBRAI™ |
|
Weird French toilets, bidets, etc. |
KYBO baking in the sun... |
Tie |
|
Complex scoring systems determine daily leader, who wears the yellow jersey, etc. |
Get him/her in the tent...YOU SCORE! |
RAGBRAI |
|
Le Royal |
McDonald's Quarter-Pounder, with cheese |
RAGBRAI™ |
|
Riders so hungry to win they'll ride with a broken collar bone |
Riders so hungry they'll gnaw right through a Tender Tom's turkey leg |
RAGBRAI™ |
|
Cheering French spectators line the route shouting riders' names |
Food vendors line the route shouting "Porrrrrkkkk Chop!", locals yell "Where ya from?" |
RAGBRAI™ |
|
Last rider in each day, aka "Lantirn Rouge" usually cut from the pack |
Last rider in usually gets free beer |
RAGBRAI™ |
|
Five minutes on the podium, a champagne shower, then it's back to Texas |
Seven fun-filled days, a shower at the car wash, then it's back to Iowa |
Tie |
|
Doping Scandals |
Team "Doctors" include MD's Jack Daniels, Richard M. "Bud" Weiser, and Captain Morgan |
RAGBRAI™ |
|
Spectators camp out early to obtain prime viewing spots |
Spectators sit on porch swings, wave at cyclists from the shade, shout "Where are you from?" |
RAGBRAI |
|
Riders stay in air-conditioned luxury hotels, have team masseuses, perqs including free postage |
Team busses arrive early to stake out prime camping spots |
TdF |
|
Tour winner gets to hang w Sheryl Crow |
Team Road Kill stickered a dead Crow |
TdF |
|
Teutonic blonde German (Ulrich) always riding your ass |
Look at the ass on that blond! |
RAGBRAI™ |
|
Winner gets to dip his wick in French cycle groupies |
Tire dip in Mississippi |
TdF |